A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies


  Sexual Night Before Christmas (2)

Posted to alt.music.foetus by atfiii@aol.com (Atfiii) on 1997-12-08.
Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a thing was stirring,
Especially from my spouse.

Her panties were hung by the fireplace with care
With the hope that CLINT RUIN would soon be there.
Her lusty thoughts nestled, all snug in her head
With thoughts of taking the Sick Man himself to bed.

My wife in her thong with her hands on her lap,
Settled down on the toilet for a long winter's crap.
When all of a sudden there came such a clatter.
She rushed out of the john to see what's the matter.

Down the chimney he came with eyes all aglow,
Saint Foetus himself, looking for that holiday blow.
My wife melted as if her thighs were like jelly
And he ripped a fart that was really quite smelly.

While I slept the whole night through until morning
He mounted my faithless wife on our new Corning.
On the piano, on the sofa, in all the secret places
They rode each other into the night, and made such faces.

And, when they made their departure with much fright
He screamed, "A hairy Christmas to all, and to all a good blight!"



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