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A
funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies
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| Sexual Night Before Christmas (6) Posted to rec.sport.pro-wrestling by jackson@autobahn.mb.ca (Satyr) on 2001-12-19. T'was the night before Christmas, At Tammy Lynn's house Her crack dealer's hands Were inside of her blouse Her legs were spread apart in the air In hopes that some Johns soon would be there The makeup she stole covered most of her scabs A can of Raid killed almost all of her crabs Then all on her face there arose such a splatter It was thick like white paste and looked like cake batter Away to the washroom she flew like white trash Ripping a baggie, losing half of her stash She knew the risks of sinking so low And the inherent dangers of a condom-less blow But, then to her reddening eyes did appear A bearded old man soaked in urine and beer "Are you Santa Claus, so jolly and thick?" She said with a grin as she fondled his prick More rapid than sudden his trousers did stain And he groaned and he shouted then thanked what's her name "Oh, Sunny! Oh, Tammy! Oh, sweet wrestling vixen! If only we'd met fore your cocaine addiction! Let me play with your tits while you lean 'gainst the wall! Now scratch away! Scratch away! Tickle my balls!" As dry heaves before the hangover arrives When you reach that state, you'll mount anything alive Then all of a sudden, his face did turn blue As fear overwhelmed the influence of the brew His dick started leaking, that was enough proof Two legs or four? He thought she said "WOOF!" A trip to the clinic would calm his nerves down "Could you drop me off on your way to the Pound?" She put her left shoe on her right foot Did the same with the other... "Let's go, you old coot!" She loosened the mattress she kept on her back Squeezed her fat ass into the car, said "I'll be right back!" Her thighs - how they wrinkled! Her pimples like cherries! Her looks decomposing, her armpits were hairy! The ravages of time were starting to show Her breasts once pert reached her navel below Her breath overripe had stained her few teeth If beauty is skin deep, she was Lita beneath She had a scar face and a stretch marked belly And she gave off an odor of yeast, KY Jelly She was a rubbery dry hump, a diseased little elf And she laughed when she floored it, so proud of herself In the blink of an eye and a foot made of lead She ran over Santa, she wanted him dead She said not a word and went straight to work She burgled his sack and then thanked the jerk She gave him the finger as he lay in repose Then snorted white powder into her nose Back into her car, she took off like a missle The engine, it roared and started to whistle But I heard her exclaim 'fore she drove out of sight "SAY NO TO DRUGS, MERRY CHRISTMAS... GOOD NIGHT!!!" Send This Dirty Xmas Parody To A Friend << Back to DirtyXmas.com |
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